The Rising Number of Children Forced to Take Sides in Bitter Divorce Feuds

Guest post regarding the rising number of children forced to take sides with divorces.

Divorce is never an easy process to digest for parents who have one or more children. The battle for custody can sometimes lead to aggressive behavioural patterns coming from the parents who twist the arm of their children to win them on their side. The common tactics consists of “buying off” the love and attention of children by a technique of offering them hip technical devices like cell phones, lavish holidays or trendy garments.

The main focus of each parent within the development of custody battle is often to poison the heart and mind of the children in the favour of one of them and they do so by badmouthing the other parent. This process of influencing the children for personal interest is not something that courts prefer. The solicitors who deal with harsh divorce issues know best to what extent one parent would go to denigrate the other one in order to obtain primary custody of the children.

When you are faced with the imminence of a divorce it is best to recur to certified solicitors. They can explain all that a divorce can entail and can teach you how to speak to your children about an obvious dramatic change in their lives without attempting to “brainwash” their minds and to influence them more than necessary.

Divorce is never an easy problem to deal with. Children are susceptible to adult opinions and many times they express their adhesion to the one who tried best to win them over. Statistics show that the strong actions and influence of one parent can succeed to make the child more loyal to him or her in the detriment of the other spouse.

There are documented undertakings of parents who influence especially the younger children to their benefit and this approach is very much noticed by court representatives and blamed. The number of young impressionable children who are dominated by one of their parents is rising and that can be seen in the increasing number of claims.

Divorce is often seen as a competition between parents, amidst which children are the wounded persons and can suffer the severe blows of a separation with no helmet on. Practically, this idea of influencing the children leads to a reaction coming from court officials who notice the dangerous practice of gaining the trust and love of children through somewhat abusive manners.

It is very important as parent to focus on creating a stable environment for the children and to put their best interests first as hard as that may sound. Their feelings are not a negligible matter and the main idea is to protect them and not to govern their feelings and emotions and not to poison them with regard to the other parenting partner.

In the fight involved in the divorce custody wars it is best to recur to solicitors who are specialised in a wide range of cases. They certainly can guide you through the process offering legal support, a reliable shoulder to cry on as well as pointers in how to approach your children in the attempt of being fair to them and to yourself. Divorce is imminent when the two marriage partners no longer see eye to eye, therefore, it is best to shield the children from possible conflicts and keep a normal and unbiased environment for them.

Post-Recession Surge in Divorces Expected, Say Lawyers

With reports suggesting that the UK may be moving out of recession, many lawyers are predicting a big spike in the amount of divorces they will have to invigilate. Some firms are indicating that they have seen up to a 30% increase in the amount of divorce cases they have to deal with, this could be due to the fact that many couples were putting off a split due to the negative financial implications.

Huge Divorce Drop Back in 2008

The recent rise mirrors a huge drop that occurred just over four years ago when the economic downturn really took hold. With money being too tight to mention and other seemingly more important things on their mind, it appears that couples have just been too busy or broke to consider parting ways, but this looks set to change as the nation starts to look at the possibility of some more stable times ahead.

The official figures actually show that the number of divorces in the United Kingdom dropped for the first two years of the recession and then rose again in 2010 to around 119,00 when the outlook started to look a little bit better.

Equity

Another factor that is seen as fundamental is the fact that couples may have been waiting for the price of their property to creep back up again. As the recession worsened, it seems that people became increasingly concerned about their lowered incomes and how much they would get back if they sold their house. Many divorce lawyers believe this led to many couples postponing their plans to split until they could both walk away with a decent return.

Evidently, not many couples predicted that this would actually be the worst recession in modern times and that the financial doom and gloom would continue for so long.

Larger Rise Could Be On The Way for 2013

Now that many believe there is light at the end of the tunnel and property prices may start to rise very soon, a lot of solicitors are seeing a noticeable rise in divorce proceedings and this is set to gather real pace over the next 12 months.

The figures echo predictions from a number of the United Kingdom’s divorce solicitors and represents some of the first clear cut evidence that an even larger spike in divorce applications could be on the way.

Popular Myths about Divorce

There is a popular myth among divorcing couples, which has the mother automatically gaining custody of the children. While this myth is simply not true, it is relatively prevalent among couples and can lead to serious challenges in the preparation of a case. Because a divorce is a time of trouble and considerable emotional hardship it becomes vital to understand all your rights and the actual content of the law before making snap decisions, which is why an attorney is critically important.

Laws today are very different and do not seek to favor one or the other party, especially with regards to child custody. Here are some things that the court does look at; versus the popular urban legends about divorce floating around the water cooler.

Myth: Mothers are automatically favored and will by default be awarded custody of the children, especially if they are young.

Fact: The fact is that mothers are not directly favored, neither are fathers. The law, in states like Florida, spells out very specifically that neither party will be favored and that the law cannot act in the best interest of one or the other party.

Myth: The one making the most money will have to pay a great deal of support and maintenance to the other party because they are not making as much. It is better to have no income or lower income during a divorce.

Fact: The court looks at a variety of factors to make sure the division of assets is equable. This means that income is certainly a factor. However, if one partner is not working or is under employed voluntarily the court will account for income to that person depending on what they are capable of making. This may seem unfair at times, but it is the only way the court can prevent manipulation of the system by voluntary unemployment or underemployment.

Myth: Divorce decrees are written in stone and once they are written there is no going back to change or modify them.

Fact: Circumstances change, often significantly, which allows one or the other party to go back and request the court to change the divorce decrees. Typically courts will not change a property distribution that has been set out but other parts can be changed depending on the circumstances. These include, and are not limited to, child support, alimony, and visitation.

Myth: Lawyers cost an arm and a leg, so it is better to try and represent your own interests in the court. There are many resources to help you and you will be just fine by yourself. Aunt Betty represented herself and was awarded everything but the kitchen sink, so it behooves you to try the legal justice wheel of fortune by yourself.

Fact: The legal justice system is complex and riddled with policy and procedures. Failure to follow the proper process can lead to significant losses. There are many resources available, but often the resources will only show you the exact law which can lead you to more confusion when you try to interpret it. Lawyers are trained for years to ensure that they can follow the correct procedures, understand the laws and statutes fully, and guide you in the best possible manner. Divorces can be expensive, even more so if your former significant other has a lawyer and you are going it alone. Finding out the cost of an attorney and ensuring that you have the right representation are critical in safeguarding your rights.

Andrew Miller is an avid legal blogger and manager of over 20 attorney blogs. This article was written on behalf of Charles R. Ullman & Associates : A Divorce attorney located in Raleigh, North Carolina.

Divorce Law Reform in England and Wales

Divorce or the termination of a civil union is always a very sad experience. In the United Kingdom, where there is no such thing as a “no fault” divorce, nor any concept of simple “irreconcilable differences” (a lovely term only the Americans could have devised), divorces are often unnecessarily caustic and combative because most petitioners choose what is perceived as the quickest and least complex grounds: Unreasonable behaviour. Ask any solicitor and they will have plenty of stories of strange reasons offered for a divorce petition: Bad cooking, being forced to watch television programs the petitioner did not enjoy, overly flirtatious behaviour by a spouse. The annals of divorce are filled with incredible examples of so-called “unreasonable behaviour”.

The most unreasonable behaviour, however, is often laid at the feet of the judges dealing with these cases, usually in the arena of asset division and support. The problem, as the Law Commission recently acknowledged, lies in the laws as written. While they give the judges great authority and very precise powers to make financial decisions in divorce cases, they give almost no guidance as to what, exactly, a judge should be seeking to achieve with such orders. As the nature of marriage becomes more complex with partners bringing assets, income, and property into a union on an increasingly equal basis, the decision to award one party support or a larger share of communal property is no longer a simple equation – time put into a union against lost income – or any similarly simplistic comparison.

While the prenuptial agreement has become more and more popular – and gained credence in the courts as long as they are properly prepared and executed without duress – they remain largely a tool of the wealthy, leaving plenty of divorces where there are considerable assets but no prenup to fall back on when the union is dissolved. The prenuptial agreement also suffers from the perception of doubt about the marriage – after all, if you have decided to be with a person forever, why would you need a contract spelling out the financials of a divorce?

This means judges continue to decide financial division in divorce cases with very little by way of legal guidelines. Most people agree that such guidelines are necessary – the judges already have the power to make arrangements for both parties in a divorce, but they need to be able to ascertain what the goals of those arrangements should be. Should they be used to encourage independence from each other even if one spouse has been financially dependent on the other for a long period of time? Should they be used to guarantee a spouse’s lifestyle post-divorce indefinitely? A combination of both? The argument can be made that if asset division and support orders are designed to keep up one spouse’s lifestyle, there will be little or no reason for them to ever seek financial independence from their former partner, creating an unfair burden to the latter. Scots law dictates a three-year limit on such support post-divorce, but most in England and Wales regard that term as too rigid and brief. Some go so far as to consider the Scots Three Year Rule to be anti-woman, but that’s an outdated concept. Women in the modern age often bring just as many assets to a marriage or union as their male counterparts.

Happily, the Law Commission seems determined to revise the law appropriately. This will take some time; after officially launching a consultation on reforming divorce law (which has remained largely unchanged since the liberalizations of 1969), the Commission won’t publish recommendations until the autumn of 2013. However long it takes, this reform is most welcome – by judges, solicitors, and petitioners alike.

Mark Darcey is the owner and director of an independently owned commercial debt recovery company based in the UK.

How to File for divorce yourself

Below is a guest family law blog post from a US blogger.

You tried every thing to save your marriage but nothing can be done now. The only way is to get a divorce and move out of the nuptial bond. But getting a divorce is not an easy thing to do. Divorce involves loads of legalities and if you are filling a contested divorce then litigations. In order to get divorce  yourself, you need to do basic research on divorce. You need to educate yourself on the legalities involved in the process of divorce, the laws and the desired paper work for divorce. There are many free resources where you can get all these information like Internet, law books, bar council journals. If you are ready to pay some money then you can consult a divorce attorney that will explain you all the do and don’t of divorce. Other than this you can join any divorce support group. Here, you will find people who have gone through the pain of divorce and are willing to help others who either are going through divorce or have recently gone through it.

Given below are few steps that you can take in order to file the divorce  yourself:

  • Educate yourself about divorce:  Knowledge can work wonders for you given you use it in the most productive manner. Before filling for divorce make sure that you  get your hands on any and all kind of information related to divorce. This will help you broaden your knowledge about divorce and  will also clear any doubts if you have about divorce
  • Go online: Internet is the most powerful source of information available today.  Here you can information about the process of divorce. In order to file the divorce paper, you need complete the papers first. Divorce papers are not easy to complete and require  minute  details about you and your spouse and family. If you are facing difficulty completing the paper then you can search over Internet about the information on how to complete it.  If you are  still not able to do so then you can search for online attorneys. They will complete the paper work for you and will get it delivered on your doorstep at a  nominal price.
  • In order to file the divorce papers you will need various financial documents like bank and credit card statements, investment and mortgage papers, vesicle’s pink slip and all movable and non-movable  marital assets.  Start collecting these documents once you start making your move toward divorce.
  • Consult an attorney:  Before filling the divorce paper make sure to consult an attorney on this matter. Explain all the points to him and the circumstances in which you are taking divorce.  That person will provide you all the required details about divorce and the laws involved. Consulting a divorce attorney will clear up all your doubts and it will give new directions and areas to work on and get a desired outcome of the case. It may cost you some money but the information that you will get will be very useful in your case
  • Join a divorce support group: you can learn a lot from the books but the theoretical knowledge is useless unless you mix some practical experience with it. Joining a  divorce support will help in meeting new people who have gone through divorce and are willing to help others who are either going through it or about to go through. Here you will find practical information on divorce  and  post divorce life. How to settle down in life post divorce and how to manage things , you can learn all from here.

Author Bio:

I am Lisa Levis, I am working as content writer since 2010. I am working for www.divorcestatistcs.org.  Here I am managing it’s article and blog section which tell about statistics of divorce in America.

The Divorce Process: Family Law Information

The Divorce Process

Divorce is the legal process through which two people end their marriage and the legal status that it provides. It is usually an extremely emotional time for the parties involved and also for their children, if they have any. The best way to make your divorce process as smooth as possible is to find a solicitor who you can trust and work comfortably with.

It is important that both parties understand their legal position on divorce and know exactly to what they are entitled. A divorce solicitor can make sure finances and property are properly distributed and arrangements are made for children, leaving no room for disagreements.

Petitioning for divorce

In order to begin the process of divorce one party to the marriage must present a petition for divorce on the grounds that the marriage has broken down irretrievably. It is important to note that the parties must have been married for at least a year before they are able to make such a petition.

Whether the marriage is broken down irretrievably is not simply a matter of opinion, and there is legislation stating that at least one of five factors must be present before any court will make a ruling that the marriage has in fact broken down irretrievably. These five grounds for divorce are as follows: unreasonable behaviour, adultery, living apart for two years and both parties consent to the divorce, living apart for five years, and desertion.

Acknowledgment of service

A copy of the petition must be sent to the other party along with a statement of arrangements for the children (if applicable) and an acknowledgment of service. The respondent must inform the petitioner in the acknowledgment of service whether they will be contesting the divorce. The acknowledgment of service is therefore an extremely important document as it shows the court that the other party is aware of the petition. If the other party refuses to return the acknowledgment of service you may have to arrange for a process server or bailiff to serve the document and make an affidavit stating that they have done so.

Decree nisi

If the court is satisfied that there are valid grounds for divorce it may well grant what is known as a decree nisi. A decree nisi will generally be granted when a divorce is not being contested and there are valid grounds for divorce. The party who made the petition must then apply to have the decree made absolute which they cannot do until at least six weeks and one day from the date of the decree nisi.

Decree absolute

The decree absolute is what actually ends the marriage, as opposed to the decree nisi which merely declares there are satisfactory grounds. Once the decree absolute has been pronounced the marriage has officially ended and usually the parties will begin ancillary relief proceedings: the name given for deciding how the matrimonial assets should be split.

Ancillary relief proceedings

The ancillary relief proceedings are often fiercely contested as a judge will rule on who should have what from the matrimonial assets. The ancillary relief process can be quite long and usually involves three trips to court.

  • A first appointment in which a judge outlines his position and ensures appropriate disclosure has taken place.
  • A financial dispute resolution hearing in which a judge (a different judge from who will be in attendance at the final hearing) will give an indication of what he would order in the hope the parties then settle on similar terms and avoid a final hearing.
  • A final hearing in which an order will be made.

With the potential for several court visits, it is in both parties’ interests to try to facilitate an early settlement to avoid significant legal costs.

My spouse and I are looking to divorce but are worried about the costs involved in the process, is there any help we can get on this matter?

The result of a divorce or separation is that two households will often have to exist on the same amount of money as one did previously. This is unfortunately made worse by the costs that will flow from your divorce. There are three main ways in which you can reduce on your legal costs in this procedure.

The first method would be to attempt to carry out the divorce informally, known as informal separation. If you and your partner are married, you can separate by such an informal arrangement. If you and your partner agree, you can also make arrangements about children, money, housing and other property without going to court. However, any informal arrangement made when you separate may affect future decisions if you do ever go to court. You should be aware that a court may change an arrangement you and your spouse made if it considers it to be unreasonable or, in the case of a child, not in their best interests.

Another method that can be employed to reduce legal costs is through what is known as a separation agreement. This is a written agreement between you and your spouse when you intend to stop living together. It sets out how you wish to sort out financial arrangements, property, and arrangements for the children. It is advisable to consult a divorce solicitor when drawing up a separation agreement, but you should work out in advance the general areas you want to cover. This will help to reduce your legal costs.

A final method that may be used in such circumstances would be for you to utilize the services of Legal Help. Legal Help allows people with a low income to get free legal advice and help from a specialist divorce solicitor or an experienced legal adviser. The solicitor or adviser must have a contract with the Legal Services Commission (LSC) to be able to provide Legal Help. You should be aware that in such cases the divorce solicitor will only be able to help you with legal advice and not with the drafting or endorsement of any legal documents.

Welcome to Family Blawg

Welcome to Family Blawg, a legal news blog on family law for family lawyers, the general public and potential clients of family solicitors.Family Law Justitia Image

A complex area requiring advice from specialist solicitors with an understanding and appreciation of sensitive issues, family law and practice involves divorce, separation, wills, children’s rights and divorce settlements.