Divorce and the Holidays

(United States law) The holidays can be a joyous and loving time for millions of people across the world. Unfortunately, with nearly 50 percent of all marriages ending in divorce, the holidays can also be a painful and even depressing time. If you and your former spouse have children together, your relationship doesn’t end once you sign the divorce papers. This is especially the case during the holiday season.

Depending on the nature of your divorce, this can be a very emotional and heated time between you and your former spouse. However, no matter how much you and your former spouse may argue and fight, it is important to put emotions aside and think of your children’s well being before your own.

This is by no means an easy task. Fortunately, there are a few helpful tips for divorced parents during the holidays. If you and your spouse are recently divorced or have been divorced for years, consider the following as you approach the holiday season and the New Year:

  • Do not prevent your child from seeing or having fun with his or her other parent
  • Spell out holiday custody arrangements in your custody agreement so you have your arrangement in writing
  • Work on letting go of your anger toward your former spouse
  • Try to keep as many traditions as possible following the divorce. Too much change right away can be difficult for your children to handle.
  • Do not treat the holidays as a competition with your former spouse. That doesn’t instill good habits with your children.
  • Know the details of where your child will be during the holidays and coordinate with your former spouse
  • Work on establishing traditions with your children so they have something to look forward to and remember for years to come
  • If you can, celebrate the holidays with your former spouse. If you two can stand to be together for just a few hours it can be very beneficial for your children.

Sharing custody of your children can be difficult, but with a little help and planning, you can get through the holiday season with as little stress and drama as possible.

Carlos is an avid legal blogger who is interested in raising awareness for the ways a divorce lawyer can help individuals come to fair terms with their former spouses.

The Many Facets of Restraining Orders and Divorce

While there are many reasons why a married couple may seek a divorce, ranging from lifestyle changes to irreconcilable differences, one unfortunately common reason is domestic abuse or violence. According to the Domestic Violence Resource Center, millions of men and women suffer from abuse at the hands of their partner or significant other. While many of these people do not seek a divorce, there are some that feel that divorce is the best, or only, way to escape the abuse.

Seeking a divorce in such a situation can be extremely helpful; however, divorces often take a long time to successfully complete, especially if children are involved. Additionally, while a divorce does separate two people, it does not guarantee that the abuser will not come into contact with or find a way to continue abusing the other person. In such a situation, a person suffering from domestic violence or abuse may need to take further action to protect themselves and their loved ones.

For anyone being subjected to physical harassment, verbal abuse, abuse at home, or other forms of intimate partner violence, one of the best ways to seek protection from the abusive party is to file a restraining order. When a court grants a restraining order, the restraining order will provide stipulations that the party whom the order is directed at must follow. Some provisions that a restraining order can have include the following:

  • Keeping the abuser away from the abused person, their home, place of work, and other important places
  • Preventing contact between the two parties, including phone calls, delivery of gifts, letters, and more
  • Stopping any physical abuse or threats of violence

While restraining orders are usually very helpful for people seeking to escape abuse, particularly before a divorce is granted, there are times when the use of a restraining order is abused itself. In such circumstances, one party may file a restraining order against their partner in order to gain power or leverage over them in a divorce. Because of the effects, both positive and negative, that a restraining order can have, when looking to either file for a restraining order or to fight a restraining order that was inappropriately granted, many people choose to enlist the support of a qualified divorce lawyer in order to give themselves the best chance of reaching the outcome they desire.