Managing Life as a Single Parent after Divorce

When a divorced couple has children, life can get very complicated. Each parent is now on their own and suddenly realize all of the small things they did not notice when they had the other parent to back them up. Parents of babies and toddlers are tested by late nights and early mornings, with no one to alternate sleep, feedings, changing, and difficult nights with. Mothers and fathers of school aged children have to handle the morning routine: getting the kids to school, meeting with teachers, and driving the kids to after-school activities, all on their own. Managing life after divorce as a parent is not easy, but life will get back to normal much faster if steps are taken to deal with the challenges, instead of just hoping for a solution.

Struggles of Single Parents

Going through a divorce and living with divorce are very complicated life events which statistics show that many people in this country go through. Below are the two main challenges for single parents:

  • Childcare

This can be tricky one when the other parent doesn’t want to play nice. Developing a set schedule, if at all possible, for visitations will make it a little easier to figure out childcare. After visitation is established, each parent needs to find their own sitters or agree on one childcare or babysitter for both schedules. Both parents should have their own backup in case help bails at the last moment. This will keep the other parent from having to cancel their own plans to watch the children.

  • Finances

If child support or alimony is in play, you could come out a little better or a little worse; this depends on if you are the one receiving it or not. Large house payments and car leases might not have fazed you before, but now that there is one income, it’s likely time to downsize. The best way to downsize is to move into a smaller house with lower rent or mortgage; otherwise, make sure you’re not overdoing it on the spending – credit card bills can drown a single person.

 Coping with Stress

Divorce and death are the two most stressful events for people to deal with in life. Stress can take its toll on the individual and potentially destroy their life. With such a high stress situation, how does a single parent cope? Below are the five best ways to cope with stress during a divorce.

 Manage your weight with diet and exercise

It’s not about vanity or attracting another partner, keeping a steady weight will keep your hormone levels normal.

 Get out and be around the people you used to spend time with

 When you’re married, you tend to push aside others in your life to spend time with your spouse. If you’re dealing with divorce, now is a great time to reconnect with the people you lost touch with. Reconnecting will give you a chance to talk to people about things other than the stressful separation – it also gives you ‘adult’ time away from the kids.

Laugh

 Laughing is a great coping mechanism; when you laugh your body releases serotonin and reduces cortisol levels. Watch a funny movie, go watch a comedian, or just have your kids tell you about their silly perspectives on childhood things.

 Don’t turn to vices such as smoking, drinking or drugs

This one is important for everyone, but most especially for parents. As tempting as it may be to turn to vices to get you through the divorce, do not give in. Smoking, drinking, or using drugs will only make you feel ‘okay’ for a very short while; most of the time, using these substances end up making you feel much worse as soon as they clear your system. More importantly, you don’t want to set that example for emotionally vulnerable children.

Read more about coping with stress on the CDC webpage.

 

Ginarte O’Dwyer Gonzalez Gallardo & Winograd, LLP is a family divorce law firm located in New Jersey/New York. For more information, please visit us at www.Ginarte.com.

Five Tips For Finding A Good Divorce Lawyer (US Tips)

When you were married, you probably never imagined that it would end in divorce. Now you are right at the beginning of a divorce and might not be sure of what to do next. Perhaps you realize that you need to get a good divorce lawyer, but you are unsure of where to go and who to talk to. If you need some help finding a good lawyer, there are five tips that might guide you in the right direction.

The first tip for finding a good divorce lawyer is to find someone who specializes in family law or in divorce. There are many different types of lawyers that are probably good at what they do, but do not deal with divorce every day. Someone that deals with divorce cases on a regular basis and has taken special care to learn all that they can about divorce might be a better choice of someone that would be able to help you the very best.

The second tip to find a good lawyer when you are getting a divorce is to talk to multiple lawyers as sort of an interview for the job. You might know a lawyer or two that have a good reputation, but when you meet them, it just doesn’t click for you. Perhaps there is someone that you meet with that will make you feel uneasy or uncomfortable. Use your common sense, and if you are uncomfortable for any reason with the lawyer, you might want to choose someone else.

The third tip is to tell the lawyer everything! You might be embarrassed about some things that happened during your marriage, or perhaps you think something is irrelevant. Letting the lawyer be the judge of that is probably a good idea because they know things about divorce cases that you don’t. They can take the information and decide what to use to build your case. Lawyers take confidentiality very seriously and will not tell anything that you don’t want told.

The fourth tip in finding a good divorce lawyer is to let the lawyer know what your financial situation is. They can help you the best with your marital financial situation if they know all of the details. You may want to include copies of pay stubs, bank statements, and bills.

The fifth and last tip that might help you to find a good divorce lawyer is to follow up after your initial visit to make sure they really are who they say they are. After a day or two, you might want to call them to see if they followed through on what they said they would do and if they still have the notes and information they will need for your case.

Finding a good divorce lawyer is absolutely important so that you are not left holding all the baggage from the marriage. While you will still have some responsibility, you should have a good lawyer to make sure everything is fair.

Guest post provided by the Phoenix Divorce Lawyers from the Cantor Law Group. Based in Phoenix, AZ The Cantor Law Group handles all aspects of divorce, including adoption, child custody, child support, alimony and other family law matters.