Popular Myths about Divorce

There is a popular myth among divorcing couples, which has the mother automatically gaining custody of the children. While this myth is simply not true, it is relatively prevalent among couples and can lead to serious challenges in the preparation of a case. Because a divorce is a time of trouble and considerable emotional hardship it becomes vital to understand all your rights and the actual content of the law before making snap decisions, which is why an attorney is critically important.

Laws today are very different and do not seek to favor one or the other party, especially with regards to child custody. Here are some things that the court does look at; versus the popular urban legends about divorce floating around the water cooler.

Myth: Mothers are automatically favored and will by default be awarded custody of the children, especially if they are young.

Fact: The fact is that mothers are not directly favored, neither are fathers. The law, in states like Florida, spells out very specifically that neither party will be favored and that the law cannot act in the best interest of one or the other party.

Myth: The one making the most money will have to pay a great deal of support and maintenance to the other party because they are not making as much. It is better to have no income or lower income during a divorce.

Fact: The court looks at a variety of factors to make sure the division of assets is equable. This means that income is certainly a factor. However, if one partner is not working or is under employed voluntarily the court will account for income to that person depending on what they are capable of making. This may seem unfair at times, but it is the only way the court can prevent manipulation of the system by voluntary unemployment or underemployment.

Myth: Divorce decrees are written in stone and once they are written there is no going back to change or modify them.

Fact: Circumstances change, often significantly, which allows one or the other party to go back and request the court to change the divorce decrees. Typically courts will not change a property distribution that has been set out but other parts can be changed depending on the circumstances. These include, and are not limited to, child support, alimony, and visitation.

Myth: Lawyers cost an arm and a leg, so it is better to try and represent your own interests in the court. There are many resources to help you and you will be just fine by yourself. Aunt Betty represented herself and was awarded everything but the kitchen sink, so it behooves you to try the legal justice wheel of fortune by yourself.

Fact: The legal justice system is complex and riddled with policy and procedures. Failure to follow the proper process can lead to significant losses. There are many resources available, but often the resources will only show you the exact law which can lead you to more confusion when you try to interpret it. Lawyers are trained for years to ensure that they can follow the correct procedures, understand the laws and statutes fully, and guide you in the best possible manner. Divorces can be expensive, even more so if your former significant other has a lawyer and you are going it alone. Finding out the cost of an attorney and ensuring that you have the right representation are critical in safeguarding your rights.

Andrew Miller is an avid legal blogger and manager of over 20 attorney blogs. This article was written on behalf of Charles R. Ullman & Associates : A Divorce attorney located in Raleigh, North Carolina.

Divorce Law Reform in England and Wales

Divorce or the termination of a civil union is always a very sad experience. In the United Kingdom, where there is no such thing as a “no fault” divorce, nor any concept of simple “irreconcilable differences” (a lovely term only the Americans could have devised), divorces are often unnecessarily caustic and combative because most petitioners choose what is perceived as the quickest and least complex grounds: Unreasonable behaviour. Ask any solicitor and they will have plenty of stories of strange reasons offered for a divorce petition: Bad cooking, being forced to watch television programs the petitioner did not enjoy, overly flirtatious behaviour by a spouse. The annals of divorce are filled with incredible examples of so-called “unreasonable behaviour”.

The most unreasonable behaviour, however, is often laid at the feet of the judges dealing with these cases, usually in the arena of asset division and support. The problem, as the Law Commission recently acknowledged, lies in the laws as written. While they give the judges great authority and very precise powers to make financial decisions in divorce cases, they give almost no guidance as to what, exactly, a judge should be seeking to achieve with such orders. As the nature of marriage becomes more complex with partners bringing assets, income, and property into a union on an increasingly equal basis, the decision to award one party support or a larger share of communal property is no longer a simple equation – time put into a union against lost income – or any similarly simplistic comparison.

While the prenuptial agreement has become more and more popular – and gained credence in the courts as long as they are properly prepared and executed without duress – they remain largely a tool of the wealthy, leaving plenty of divorces where there are considerable assets but no prenup to fall back on when the union is dissolved. The prenuptial agreement also suffers from the perception of doubt about the marriage – after all, if you have decided to be with a person forever, why would you need a contract spelling out the financials of a divorce?

This means judges continue to decide financial division in divorce cases with very little by way of legal guidelines. Most people agree that such guidelines are necessary – the judges already have the power to make arrangements for both parties in a divorce, but they need to be able to ascertain what the goals of those arrangements should be. Should they be used to encourage independence from each other even if one spouse has been financially dependent on the other for a long period of time? Should they be used to guarantee a spouse’s lifestyle post-divorce indefinitely? A combination of both? The argument can be made that if asset division and support orders are designed to keep up one spouse’s lifestyle, there will be little or no reason for them to ever seek financial independence from their former partner, creating an unfair burden to the latter. Scots law dictates a three-year limit on such support post-divorce, but most in England and Wales regard that term as too rigid and brief. Some go so far as to consider the Scots Three Year Rule to be anti-woman, but that’s an outdated concept. Women in the modern age often bring just as many assets to a marriage or union as their male counterparts.

Happily, the Law Commission seems determined to revise the law appropriately. This will take some time; after officially launching a consultation on reforming divorce law (which has remained largely unchanged since the liberalizations of 1969), the Commission won’t publish recommendations until the autumn of 2013. However long it takes, this reform is most welcome – by judges, solicitors, and petitioners alike.

Mark Darcey is the owner and director of an independently owned commercial debt recovery company based in the UK.

How to File for divorce yourself

Below is a guest family law blog post from a US blogger.

You tried every thing to save your marriage but nothing can be done now. The only way is to get a divorce and move out of the nuptial bond. But getting a divorce is not an easy thing to do. Divorce involves loads of legalities and if you are filling a contested divorce then litigations. In order to get divorce  yourself, you need to do basic research on divorce. You need to educate yourself on the legalities involved in the process of divorce, the laws and the desired paper work for divorce. There are many free resources where you can get all these information like Internet, law books, bar council journals. If you are ready to pay some money then you can consult a divorce attorney that will explain you all the do and don’t of divorce. Other than this you can join any divorce support group. Here, you will find people who have gone through the pain of divorce and are willing to help others who either are going through divorce or have recently gone through it.

Given below are few steps that you can take in order to file the divorce  yourself:

  • Educate yourself about divorce:  Knowledge can work wonders for you given you use it in the most productive manner. Before filling for divorce make sure that you  get your hands on any and all kind of information related to divorce. This will help you broaden your knowledge about divorce and  will also clear any doubts if you have about divorce
  • Go online: Internet is the most powerful source of information available today.  Here you can information about the process of divorce. In order to file the divorce paper, you need complete the papers first. Divorce papers are not easy to complete and require  minute  details about you and your spouse and family. If you are facing difficulty completing the paper then you can search over Internet about the information on how to complete it.  If you are  still not able to do so then you can search for online attorneys. They will complete the paper work for you and will get it delivered on your doorstep at a  nominal price.
  • In order to file the divorce papers you will need various financial documents like bank and credit card statements, investment and mortgage papers, vesicle’s pink slip and all movable and non-movable  marital assets.  Start collecting these documents once you start making your move toward divorce.
  • Consult an attorney:  Before filling the divorce paper make sure to consult an attorney on this matter. Explain all the points to him and the circumstances in which you are taking divorce.  That person will provide you all the required details about divorce and the laws involved. Consulting a divorce attorney will clear up all your doubts and it will give new directions and areas to work on and get a desired outcome of the case. It may cost you some money but the information that you will get will be very useful in your case
  • Join a divorce support group: you can learn a lot from the books but the theoretical knowledge is useless unless you mix some practical experience with it. Joining a  divorce support will help in meeting new people who have gone through divorce and are willing to help others who are either going through it or about to go through. Here you will find practical information on divorce  and  post divorce life. How to settle down in life post divorce and how to manage things , you can learn all from here.

Author Bio:

I am Lisa Levis, I am working as content writer since 2010. I am working for www.divorcestatistcs.org.  Here I am managing it’s article and blog section which tell about statistics of divorce in America.