Who Gets the Diamonds? Divison of Assets

(U.S. Family Law and generally) Going through a divorce can be difficult enough emotionally, and the entire process can be exacerbated by the issues that often accompany the task of dividing assets. Because of this, many couples choose to utilize a prenuptial agreement to ensure that everyone is protected if the marriage is not successful. However, if you do not take this step, you might find yourself dealing with major arguments over specific pieces, especially expensive jewelry. Therefore, it is vital to have an experienced divorce attorney on your side to help you retain the items that mean the most to you.
How are Jewelry Items Divided?
Many women assume that they will automatically get to keep their jewelry when they go through a divorce. After all, the wedding ring was sized to fit their finger, and women typically care more about diamonds and other precious gems than men do. Because of this, it is possible that you might not take enough steps to protect yourself before all of your joint assets begin being divided.

It is important to remember that jewelry can have a very high monetary value, and this could cause your ex to request it as part of their end of the divorce settlement. In some cases, you might even find yourself having to make the difficult choice between a piece of jewelry and another item that you want to keep. Fortunately, a lawyer can help you debate your ex’s request for your jewelry, and they also have a firm understanding of how to make successful counter offers.
What about Family Heirlooms?
In a fully civilized society, it would be understood that family heirlooms should stay with the applicable party. For example, if you have been wearing a ring that has been part of your ex’s family for several generations, you should be prepared to give it back. However, many of the societal pleasantries that most people adhere to on a daily basis are thrown out the window during a contentious divorce. Therefore, you should never assume that you will simply receive all of your family heirlooms without needing to fight for them.
Because of this, it will be important to build a case based around the history of the piece and its sentimental value. After all, the other party will not have the same history with the piece, and this will make it less emotionally valuable to them. Sadly, this could end up being used against you in order to obtain other items unless you utilize a skilled lawyer to help you present your case.
In many cases, couples divide their assets in half, and this can cause complications due to the value of jewelry. In fact, if an item is not an heirloom, it might make more sense to let your ex keep it in favor of receiving a larger cash settlement. For example, if you are debating over a diamond ring, you can easily get something similar at a reduced price by shopping at an online diamond retailer such as www.superjeweler.com. As long as you keep this information to yourself, you might be able to end up with a new ring and some extra cash. However, if you are determined to keep all of your jewelry, you should also be prepared to give up some other items to keep the division of assets fair.

Bankruptcy: Watch out for the Marital Adjustment Deduction

divorce and bankruptcyWhen a person who is married decides to file for bankruptcy, the law permits him or her to do so alone, without requiring both spouses to file.  However, the non-filing spouse’s finances do play part in the filing spouse’s bankruptcy case.  The “means test,” including the “marital adjustment deduction” will be evaluated to determine whether or not the filing spouse qualifies for a Chapter 7 bankruptcy, or to determine the amount the filing spouse will have to pay unsecured creditors in a Chapter 13 bankruptcy.

The Means Test

Even though you may feel that the only way out of your dire financial situation is to file for bankruptcy, a Westchester county bankruptcy lawyer points out that under the strict rules of the bankruptcy code, you may not qualify for a Chapter 7 bankruptcy filing.  In a Chapter 7 bankruptcy,  the debtor essentially tells the court that he or she is unable to pay back any part of the debt owed to creditors.  In order to qualify, you must pass a “means test,” meaning that your disposable income must be below a certain level.  If you do not pass the means test, then under bankruptcy law you are presumed able to pay back at least a minimum amount of your debt, and you will not be permitted to proceed with a Chapter 7 bankruptcy.  As part of the means test the bankruptcy court will look at your last 6 months of income as well as your expenses.  Thus, even if you have a high income, if your expenses are also high, your may still qualify for a Chapter 7 bankruptcy.

If you are married, but separated and living in separate households, the income of your non-filing spouse will not be taken into consideration for the means test. However, if you are married, then your spouse’s income will be taken into consideration for the means test.  This could have a significant impact on the filing spouses’ Chapter 7 petition.  If the non-filing spouse’s income is too high, then you may not qualify for a Chapter 7 bankruptcy.  In this is so then the “marital adjustment deduction” may help.

The Marital Adjustment Deduction

As part of the means test, you are permitted to deduct expenses from your income.  The “Marital Adjustment Deduction” allows you to deduct any expenses that your spouse pays that are not normal household expenses.  These “other” expenses are known as “marital deduction expenses.”  Examples of marital deduction expenses can include credit card payments for accounts that are only in your spouses’ name, child support payment for your spouse’s child, business expenses, student loan payments, and payroll deductions.  The net result of using the marital adjustment deduction is that if significant, it may offset at least some of your spouse’s income that you had to include in the means test.  Thus, you may still be able to qualify for a Chapter 7 bankruptcy even though your spouse’s income is relatively high.

Alternative to Chapter 7

If after applying the marital adjustment deduction you still do not qualify for a Chapter 7 bankruptcy, you may be permitted to file under Chapter 13. While all of your debt will not be discharged, the total amount you repay your creditors will likely be significantly reduced and you will have 3-5 years to make the payments.   However, you will still have to disclose your spouse’s income and expenses, which may affect the total amount you have to repay your creditors.

The importance of Full Disclosure

Ultimately, both your complete financial picture and that of your spouse will likely be closely reviewed by the bankruptcy court to determine how the law will allow you to proceed with your bankruptcy.  Thus, it is important to be prepared with evidence backing up all claims regarding income and expenses, or risk having your case dismissed.  An even worse result would be having the bankruptcy court determine that you have committed or attempted to commit fraud.

Do you think it is fair that a non-filing spouse’s finances are considered when a married person files for bankruptcy?  What if throughout the marriage the couple’s finances remained largely separate?  Does this rule encourage spouses to legally separate or “pretend” to separate?

Family Law Property Issues in Australia

(Victorian & Australian Law)

In recent times, the jurisdiction of property disputes in Family Law has broadened. Traditionally, property was only divisible between married or divorced couples. De-facto and same sex partners are now able to apply for a property settlement, though under different law. In the absence of agreement between the parties, an application for the settlement of a property dispute is made to the court, to be decided on the basis of need.

The settlement reached becomes legally binding and enforceable by the courts. Here’s a rough guide to what usually happens in these situations…

Applications

Parties can make a property settlement by agreement or, if agreement cannot be reached, make an application to the court for a property settlement. Applications for the division of property after divorce can be made to the Family Court or to the Federal Magistrates Court where a property dispute is worth less than $700,000.

Only parties who are or were married can make an application for a property settlement under the Family Law Act 1975 (Cth). In the case of divorce, an application must be made within 12 months of receiving the decree absolute. De-facto and same sex partners can make an application under the Property Law Act 1958 (Vic) in the Supreme Court, County Court or Magistrates’ Court.

Once an application is made, the parties will be asked to attend a case conference, with the aim of settling the property dispute by agreement before it goes to court. Present at this conference will be the parties, any family lawyer involved and a court registrar. If this conference is unsuccessful, the parties will go to court.

Property disputes in de-facto and same sex relationships (domestic relationships) are dealt with under the Property Law Act 1958 (Vic). A domestic relationship is a relationship between two people (regardless of gender) who live together as a couple on a domestic basis but are not married. The domestic relationship must have existed for at least two years for an application for a property dispute to be made under Part 9 of the Property Law Act . If there are exceptional circumstances, for example children being born out of the relationship, this two-year period can be waived. The relationship must have ended after 8 November 2001 for Part 9 to apply.

Property

The type of property divisible in a property settlement includes assets, cash, real estate, investments, insurance policies and superannuation. Debts are also taken into account. In a domestic relationship, as governed by the Property Law Act , superannuation and retirement benefits are not included in a property settlement. In making an order for property settlement, the court calculates the total pool of assets of the parties.

The division of these assets is based on both contributions made by each of the parties to the asset pool and future needs. The contributions of the parties include non-financial contributions, which means a homemaker will not be disadvantaged in this assessment. Future needs takes into account who is responsible for the daily care of the children, earning capacity, age, health and the financial circumstances of any new relationship. The aim is to distribute the property fairly between the two parties.

If you believe your partner is going to dispose of assets before the total pool of assets is calculated you can obtain an injunction to stop the sale taking place. Bank accounts and proceeds from the sale of any assets that has already taken place can also be frozen.

Spousal Maintenance

A party can apply for ongoing spousal maintenance if they can prove they are unable to support themselves. This application must be made within 12 months of divorce. An application for spousal maintenance is often included with an application for property settlement so that all financial issues are dealt with at once.

Spousal maintenance cannot be applied for where a domestic relationship exists.

Enforcement

If an agreement is reached between the parties, they can apply to the court for consent orders. This will make the agreement enforceable by the courts in case of dispute. Consent orders, once made, are final. A party must prove fraud, impracticality or other exceptional circumstances if they wish the consent orders to be set aside or varied.

If a party is not complying with the orders made, an application can be made to the court for enforcement. In this application, the party applying must set out exactly what the problem is. The court will then decide whether an order is needed to enforce the existing order.

A family law property settlement is an important process to go through after the breakdown of a marriage or domestic relationship. A property dispute can be settled by agreement between the parties or resolved by the court. Each case is unique and will be considered by the court according to its own circumstances. The court will not consider who is at fault in the breakdown of a relationship. Rather, it will be resolved on the basis of fairness and need.

Literature on Divorce for Older Children

divorce lawApproximately half of marriages, in the United States, end in divorce.  While not every married couple has children, it can be assumed that a large number of children are faced with their parents’ divorce each year.  When parents decide to divorce it is their responsibility, for the well-being of their child, to discuss the divorce with their child.  Many parents seek out additional resources, such as books, to make their discussion a bit easier or to answer questions that may be hard to answer on their own.  There is a plethora of books for younger children, specifically between the ages of 4 – 9, that are specifically written about divorce.  Many of the books are picture books with colorful illustrations concentrating on using simple concepts and a discussion of emotions.  Aside from “self-help” type of books, there are fewer books on divorce available for pre-teen and adolescent children.  While the needs of an older child are different from young children, a book addressing divorce can be helpful to an older reader.

Stereotypically, girls are most often classified as “readers”.  Much of the pre-teen and adolescent fiction and non-fiction literature discussing divorce has female protagonists or themes aimed at young women.  Parents of pre-teen and adolescent boys may need to search a bit more, but there are books with adolescent boys as the protagonists dealing with family issues like divorce.

Homesick, a 2012 release by Kate Klise, is a novel with a young male protagonist, appropriate for readers between 9 and 12 years old.  The main character, Benny, lives with his parents who have separated.  His mother has left the family and his father has hoarding issues.  Many readers may connect with Benny and the pressure and need to be responsible in his crumbling home life.  Reflected in a Kirkus Review, “Benny gets a job at the local radio station to scrape together money to pay the phone bill so he can stay in touch with his mother. She’s planning to get settled and return for him at the end of the school year, but Benny’s dad is spiraling downward fast.”

While Benny’s scenario may seem “too big to be true”, children of divorced parents may relate to Benny’s situation and his feelings.  Sometimes a story, bigger than their own, might make a child feel better about their own situation.

Children, of any age, may benefit from tools, such as literature, when dealing with divorce in their family.  Parents and children can connect through literature and gain a better understanding about divorce.  Literature can remind children, of any age, that divorce is not their fault, not their responsibility, and despite the situation, a parent’s love still remains before, during and after the divorce.

For more information about divorce please visit the website of Charles Ullman, a Cary, NC Divorce Lawyer at divorcelawnc.com.

A Tampa Collaborative Divorce Can Save You Money

When most people think of divorce, they envision scenes from War of the Roses or Kramer vs. Kramer. Yet more people in Tampa Bay are learning that there is another way, collaborative divorce, which is just a sensible method to resolve private family disputes. However, just as mediation was characterized in the 1980’s and 1990’s as a rich person’s option, many people think that the collaborative process is only for the very wealthy. Not only attorneys, but also a collaborative facilitator and financial professional are retained, so only the very rich can afford the collaborative model, right?

Wrong.

A four year study conducted by the International Academy of Collaborative Professionals found that 87% of female participants and 47% of male participants of collaborative family law cases had an annual income of less than $100,000.

Though the collaborative process may not be the cheapest in all cases, it has a substantial opportunity to save you money as compared to the courtroom battles we have all come to associate with divorce.

First, child issues, such as custody schedules and decision-making authority, are some of the most emotional and costliest issues in family law matters. Lawyers in courtroom cases tend to prepare interrogatories (questions) to be answered under penalty of perjury, set depositions, conduct opposition research to put the other spouse in the worst possible light, and prepare for trial. Attorneys’ invoices pile up along each stage of this process. Alternatively, these fees and costs can be greatly reduced in the collaborative process where facilitators, who usually are licensed mental health professionals, can cut through the clutter of emotionally-charged issues and bring the clients (and lawyers) to focus on the future and best interests of the children.

Similarly, a financial professional (who is usually either an accountant or financial planner) adds cost-saving value to the process. In litigated cases, lawyers prepare “requests for production of documents and things” that demand reams of financial documents which could conceivably be relevant. Searching for those documents cost clients tremendous time and money while, when received, the requesting attorney will spend countless billable hours meticulously combing through the documents. In the collaborative process, on the other hand, the financial professional will only request documents that are necessary to make an informed settlement option. His or her expertise in finances enables the financial professional to review and assess the documents and develop settlement options more quickly (and often times at a lower rate) than attorneys.

Finally, the dirty little secret in family law is that the vast majority of litigation cases eventually settle. However, because having a judge decide on the parties’ personal matters always remains a threat, in traditional courtroom divorce the attorneys will always work on two tracks: (i) attempt to settle the case while (ii) conducting opposition research and preparing for the courtroom battle in case the parties cannot come to an agreement. In the collaborative process, attorneys are retained solely for the purpose of settlement and are contractually barred from taking disputes to be decided in court, and so they are not racking up those billable hours planning to fight it out in court.

Now, back to the question, is collaborative divorce only for the wealthy? Absolutely not, and I would be happy to speak with you and talk more about how the process can help your family.

If you have questions regarding how a Tampa Bay collaborative divorce process can help you, schedule a consultation with attorney Adam B. Cordover at (813) 443-0615 or fill out our contact form.

Adam B. Cordover is Vice President of the Collaborative Divorce Institute of Tampa Bay and is a member of the International Academy of Collaborative Professionals. Adam spearheaded the taskforce that drafted the Hillsborough County collaborative family practice administrative order signed by Chief Judge Manuel Menendez.

Protecting Your Assets During a Divorce

protect your assets divorceWhen John and Emily married 15 years ago, they both thought the marriage would last a lifetime.  After 10 years in a colonial-style home, 2 children and 3 dogs, their marriage looked picture perfect, especially with the white picket fence that surrounded Emily’s prize winning roses.  Last year, John lost some investments and started gambling to ease his stress.  His secret gambling made financial issues even worse.  Emily, unaware of their family’s financial distress, continued her duties as a homemaker and volunteering at her daughter’s school.  Had Emily known of the financial distress, she would have taken a job to help ease some of the debt, but because John was always in charge of finances, Emily had no idea of how bad their situation was.  One weekend, John had gone on a “business trip” (which ended up being an expensive trip to Las Vegas) and Emily was unable to withdraw funds from an ATM machine.  Shortly after John’s unsuccessful gambling trip, there marriage began to fall apart and divorce seemed to be the best option for their young children.  Because Emily has little control of their money, she doesn’t know how to proceed with protecting her assets during the divorce. Charles Ullman and Associates understands that during divorce, life has been turned upside down and can cause financial and emotionally challenging moments.  What can Emily do?

Avoid Losing Everything: Protect Your Assets

Often times, in a marriage, one spouse takes charge of finances. Unfortunately, in the event of divorce, the other spouse has no idea how to deal with their finances, leaving her/him at great risk for financial distress after a divorce.  Protecting your assets during divorce can make the whole process a little less stressful:

  • Familiarize Yourself with Financial Statements:  Financial statements, tax forms and other important financial paperwork can be overwhelming, hard to organize, and even harder to understand, but it’s helpful to know how your household’s income is being spent.  Even if you are not the “breadwinner”, you have the right to know where the money goes.  If you find something suspicious or something you don’t understand (and don’t feel comfortable confronting your soon-to-be ex), talk to a financial planner, lawyer or accountant.  Additionally, make sure you make copies of all the financial information and keep it in a safe place.  When you meet with your divorce lawyer, he/she will help you decide what information you will need for your settlement.  It’s better to be over prepared than not.

 

  • Establish Your Own Credit:  If you have a shared credit account with your spouse, it’s important to pay close attention to credit card statements, as one spouse may use a credit card more often than the other.  If your spouse has poor credit, it may affect you, even after the divorce.  If you are able, try to get your own credit card account before you divorce.  While may stay-at-home, non-income earning spouses find it difficult to establish credit, The Credit Card Accountability Responsibility and Disclosure Act (CARD Act) made changes allowing non-working spouses set up their own line of credit, according to the Consumer Financial Protection Bureau.  Additionally, it may be wise (if you don’t already) to set up your own bank account.

 

  • Make Sure Your Name is One Everything You Own with Your Spouse:  Depending on what you purchased together, if it is a valuable asset, make sure that your signature (as proof of part ownership) is on all the proper documents.

Divorce can be a financially, emotionally, and mentally exhausting process.  While you should always have a good handle on your finances, even if you don’t make all the money, it is even more important during the separation or divorce process.  Don’t let your divorce leave you penniless and powerless; get your documents in order!

Divorced But Neither Wants the House: What to Do?

Divorce But Neither want the houseThe marital residence can prove to be one of the most controversial components of a modern divorce. While the majority of divorces in the past involved arguments regarding which party would be allowed to keep the house, that trend has begun to change as the unstable housing market continues to fluctuate in a consistently negative pattern. Now, with foreclosure looming on the horizon for many divorcing couples, the question of who gets the house has a different desired answer.

Why Wouldn’t You Want to Keep the House?

In many cases, according to The Institute for Divorce Financial Analysts, the amount of money owed on a house’s mortgage exceeds the actual value of the property, making it a liability instead of an asset. Unless the house holds specific emotional appeal or value, getting stuck with a payment on a residence that isn’t worth the money can be financially devastating for the party who receives it.

Many married couples decide to divorce due to a variety of irreconcilable differences and, therefore, find themselves in a position in which they are far less likely to come to an amicable solution for both ends. It is possible that vindictive or hurt feelings may fuel a desire to cause the other person inconvenience, emotional pain and financial hardship. In these cases, the inclusion of a qualified and experienced divorce attorney in early proceedings and division of assets is highly recommended. Your counselor will help mediate these periods of correspondence, ensuring that all steps of the process are completed accurately and fairly as according to your state’s laws and regulations.

It is in this type of case, in which neither party can foresee any type of cooperation in the future, that a foreclosure or short sale is selected as the best way to resolve the issue. If the house is sold at a loss as compared to its purchase value or current market value, the spouses are advised to share the costs of the loss and call the case closed. If an agreement such as this cannot be made, bankruptcy is an option and should be discussed in detail with an attorney with experience in the field.

Possible Solutions

If both members of the divorcing couple are adamant concerning the situation and neither one agrees to take on the financial responsibility of keeping the house, other agreements may be made that still count as advantages to both parties.

First, if both people involved in the divorce are willing to work with one another on reaching a positive and lucrative solution, they may consider renting the property to a third party and splitting the money that is paid for it. If the amount of monthly rent, utilities and other bills exceeds the amount needed to pay the house’s mortgage, the difference is split between the ex-spouses.

A second option involves one member of the divorcing couple to remain in the house while the other moves out. The person remaining in the house pays a predetermined amount each month to the spouse who has moved out to cover rent and any other bills associated with the property. In this case, both people tend to retain ownership of the house and are responsible for any paperwork required to sell it in the future, should the market improve.

Ginarte O’Dwyer Gonzalez Gallardo & Winograd, LLP is a personal injury law firm located in New Jersey/New York. For more information, please visit us at www.Ginarte.com.

Divorce: Is Your Child the One Suffering?

divorceGoing through a divorce is a stressful and upsetting time for a couple, but you have to keep in mind that this is an extremely stressful time for your children as well. Learning that their parents are splitting and that everything they know is about to change is daunting. Make sure your choice to divorce does not cause your child to suffer unnecessarily. Below are three tips to help your child manage a divorce healthily.

Be Conscious of What Will Upset Your Child

A divorce will probably result in a lifestyle change for your child, and a huge change in their daily routine can cause a child to feel stressed. Try to keep your child’s life as consistent as possible: keep them in the same school, surround them with their same friends, and make sure they keep up the same activities they’ve always loved. Maintaining a routine and schedule when another aspect of their life has become chaotic is integral.

It is also hugely important to make sure you keep heated and emotional debates between you and your partner to a minimum. Arguing, fighting, name-calling or any other nasty behavior does not need to be witnessed by your child. Even if the divorce was messy, remember that this person is still a parent to your child. Avoid blaming their parent, bad-mouthing their parent or fighting if your child can hear. At the end of the day, a child needs to know that both his parents are still in his life and still love him, regardless of the divorce.

Encourage Conversation With Your Child

Another way to ensure that your child manages a divorce the best they can and doesn’t suffer through it is to encourage them to voice their feelings and concerns. Initiate conversation with your child and talk about the changes they can expect to happen during the course of the divorce. Help them put their feelings into words, and listen to their response. It is important to let your child know that the way they are feeling is normal and that you respect their feelings.

If your child isn’t encouraged to speak about the divorce, this could have a negative impact on their behavior. Young children might have a change in appetite, their sleep patterns might be affected, or their behavior in school could be impacted. If your kids are older, they might take uncharacteristic risks. Letting your children speak will only help them emotionally.

Talk Care of Yourself and Learn to Manage Stress

The way you take care of yourself and manage the divorce will also affect your child. If you let the stress of custody and divorce paperwork get the better of you, you might fail to properly care for yourself. When you properly care for yourself and manage stress well, your child will learn how to handle stress and change in a healthy way. Get support if need be so that you can take care of yourself and your children.

Going through a divorce is always going to be a difficult time, but don’t make it unnecessarily difficult for your children. Follow these three tips to help your child healthily manage the new changes in their life. Your divorce shouldn’t result in your child suffering.

If you are going through a divorce, it is important to seek legal representation to mediate the situation and protect your child.  Charles R. Ullman & Associates, Attorneys at Law, are experienced divorce lawyers who can help you manage stress during this difficult time, ultimately shielding your child from the unhealthy effects.  For more information about this North Carolina law firm and how they can help you, visit the website at  www.divorcelawnc.com .  

Common Factors in Determining Custody Battles

child custody

Going through a divorce is a difficult time, both for the couple involved and their children. What makes it especially difficult is deciding who gets custody and how the child’s time will be divided between parents. Judges will determine a custody battle by considering what is best for the child and looking out for the best interests of the child. However, there are several factors involved that will determine a judge’s decision. Below are a few common factors that will determine the outcome of a custody battle.

The Child’s Age and Gender

The first factors that a judge will probably consider when settling a custody battle is the age and gender of your child. If a couple’s child is very young, chances are in the mother’s favor. That being said, nowadays a judge does not usually have a gender preference when determining custody. That is, a father will not necessarily get custody of his son and a mother will not necessarily get custody of her daughter. The judge will examine which parent can better provide care to a child of a particular age and gender. It is also important to note that siblings are unlikely to be separated.

The Child’s Personal Preference

The child’s personal preference is also taken into consideration. However, how much weight this factor holds will depend on the age of the child. While a 6 year old’s opinion will be considered, it will likely not hold as much weight as the opinion of a 14 year old. While it differs between states, generally when a child is between the age of 12 and 14 his opinion begins to receive more substantial weight.

The Parent’s Lifestyle 

There are a variety of factors regarding the parents that a judge will consider. First and foremost, a judge will consider which parent can best provide for their child’s physical, emotional, and medical needs. A parent’s health and their financial stability are both common factors influencing the outcome. For example, a mother who frequently moves, thereby uprooting her child’s education and influencing their grades, will not be seen as beneficial for the child. Other factors considered by a judge are whether or not any allegations of abuse, neglect or violence have ever been filed against either parent, whether any claims have been falsely filed, and how willing a parent is to let the other parent see the child. The parent who is awarded custody must be able to provide their child with the necessities of life.

The Child and Parent’s Relationship

Another one of the most important common factors a judge considers is the relationship the child has with either parent. If one parent has been more present for the child’s life so far, that parent will probably have a better chance of winning custody. Love, affection, and emotional ties are all strongly considered by a judge.

Going through a divorce is stressful enough, but the added stress of custody can make the whole situation overwhelming. If you’re headed into court to determine who gets custody of a child, remember that a judge will not make a decision on just one factor. All of the above are common factors that a judge considers. At the end of the day, a judge will make a decision that is in the best interest of the child.

If you are amidst a custody battle, you should seek a professional to help you fight for the rights of your child.   Charles R. Ullman & Associates is a team of child custody lawyers with experience advocating for children and their best interests in North Carolina.  For more information about custody battles and processes, visit the website at www.DivorceLawCary.com.

The Rising Number of Children Forced to Take Sides in Bitter Divorce Feuds

Guest post regarding the rising number of children forced to take sides with divorces.

Divorce is never an easy process to digest for parents who have one or more children. The battle for custody can sometimes lead to aggressive behavioural patterns coming from the parents who twist the arm of their children to win them on their side. The common tactics consists of “buying off” the love and attention of children by a technique of offering them hip technical devices like cell phones, lavish holidays or trendy garments.

The main focus of each parent within the development of custody battle is often to poison the heart and mind of the children in the favour of one of them and they do so by badmouthing the other parent. This process of influencing the children for personal interest is not something that courts prefer. The solicitors who deal with harsh divorce issues know best to what extent one parent would go to denigrate the other one in order to obtain primary custody of the children.

When you are faced with the imminence of a divorce it is best to recur to certified solicitors. They can explain all that a divorce can entail and can teach you how to speak to your children about an obvious dramatic change in their lives without attempting to “brainwash” their minds and to influence them more than necessary.

Divorce is never an easy problem to deal with. Children are susceptible to adult opinions and many times they express their adhesion to the one who tried best to win them over. Statistics show that the strong actions and influence of one parent can succeed to make the child more loyal to him or her in the detriment of the other spouse.

There are documented undertakings of parents who influence especially the younger children to their benefit and this approach is very much noticed by court representatives and blamed. The number of young impressionable children who are dominated by one of their parents is rising and that can be seen in the increasing number of claims.

Divorce is often seen as a competition between parents, amidst which children are the wounded persons and can suffer the severe blows of a separation with no helmet on. Practically, this idea of influencing the children leads to a reaction coming from court officials who notice the dangerous practice of gaining the trust and love of children through somewhat abusive manners.

It is very important as parent to focus on creating a stable environment for the children and to put their best interests first as hard as that may sound. Their feelings are not a negligible matter and the main idea is to protect them and not to govern their feelings and emotions and not to poison them with regard to the other parenting partner.

In the fight involved in the divorce custody wars it is best to recur to solicitors who are specialised in a wide range of cases. They certainly can guide you through the process offering legal support, a reliable shoulder to cry on as well as pointers in how to approach your children in the attempt of being fair to them and to yourself. Divorce is imminent when the two marriage partners no longer see eye to eye, therefore, it is best to shield the children from possible conflicts and keep a normal and unbiased environment for them.